Some vengeful presents

Valentine’s Day is coming once more, and it’s vital to keep in mind that it will be terrible for some people. When you’re in love, it’s a wonderful time to express how much you love your partner, but if you’re single, Valentine’s Day may serve as a reminder that you haven’t yet found your soul mate.

However, if you recently got dumped, you might want to finish the day and forget all the unpleasant thoughts of your ex. Fortunately, there is something that can help you with that.

The brand of toilet paper Who Gives A Crap has chosen to capitalize on the current “anti-Valentine’s day” feeling by giving single people the opportunity to flush anything connected to their ex down the toilet.

Who Gives A Crap can convert the love letters, cards, and notes your ex sent you when you were dating into recycled toilet paper, which is a very straightforward process. After that, you can flush it down the toilet as you normally would, presumably erasing the memories of your ex that were associated with it.

They claim that doing so will help you “eradicate any memory they ever happened out of existence” while also allowing them to be environmentally responsible by “re-purposing something that would otherwise sit gathering dust in old cupboards & drawers”.

There are many different ways to get over someone, so it seems like translating your annoyances with your ex into something physical is a rather successful business on Valentine’s Day.

People can also name a cockroach after their ex and feed it to an animal at the San Antonio Zoo in Texas, which aims to help people move on from a bad relationship in some way.

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Nothing signals you’ve moved on from someone like visiting a zoo and spending money to name a cockroach after them. You may have made a phony “we can still be friends” remark when you broke up with them. Instead, you might pay more to have a rat named after your ex, and people with less money could just get to name a meek little vegetable.

If you want to exact exceptionally harsh punishment, you can pay $150 (£121) to have a film of the named vegetable or animal being fed to a zoo animal made and sent to the target.

If you’re looking for something more explicit, there’s always paintballing, where the targets bear your ex’s face, and a few years ago, another zoo held a contest where participants could name a new snake in honor of their ex.

Or to stay on the main topic, you could send poop to your ex through poopsenders where you can choose the animal poop and size to send.

valentine's day 2023