Hallowed be thy farts

It sounds like a joke but it’s not. A South African pastor reportedly farts on people’s faces as a healing process to cure their spiritual and physical problems. Pastor Christ Penelope, of SevenFold Holy Spirit Ministries in Siyandani Village, Limpopo, South Africa has created a buzz online for his unorthodox method of healing people after a photo of him sitting on people’s faces, apparently farting on them, went viral.

An attendee visiting the church complained, “When we come to church it’s because we need prayers, not to be farted on”. However, Pastor Penelope has defended his methods, insisting that he is simply demonstrating the power of God.

“Just like God made Adam go into a deep sleep, it is a similar thing. God did anything with the body of Adam while he was on the ground in deep sleep. He was not feeling anything. The Bible doesn’t say anything about Adam complaining about hurting him, the pastor claimed.

According to the pastor, farting near the person’s nostrils is important so that the “healing power” can enter the body to do its work.

Then he added, “When they wake up from the deep sleep, they will tell you that they didn’t feel anything. It is showing the power of God and those who needed healing are healed afterward and others get to manifest at that moment. Remember when people try to tarnish your image, that is when he shows his glory. As long as souls are won into the kingdom, he who sits on the throne laughs at his enemies”.

Surprisingly, many people wait up to two months to meet him to get farted on and some even collect his farts in containers.

However, all pastors do not agree with Pastor Penelope’s method of healing because nowhere God says to sit on people and they will be healed.

Bishop Miso Mabunda from Meadowlands agreed, saying, “These are exactly the deeds the Bible warned us against. It said that at the end of the world, there’d be people who’d do things that will shock us. My advice will be for people to make their ways right with the Lord for the end is near”.

Pastor Penelope reacted to criticism and said, “I don’t fart on people, I heal people”.

After holy water, even farts could therefore become new means of blessing.

Source timesnownews.com